


I hate your guts

by ximeria



Series: 2017 Bimonthly Shorts (x-men AUs) [17]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Humor, Law Enforcement, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ximeria/pseuds/ximeria
Summary: Erik is not a happy camper. With his partner, Alex, down with the flu, he has to work with his arch-nemesis, the only serious contender to the title of best detective of their precinct: Charles Xavier. And Erik is not going to let him win that title.





	1. I hate you(r pretty lips)

**Author's Note:**

> I was in two minds about posting this because it's only an opening for a story. However, work is currently crazy busy (as in come-home-crash kind of busy) so this is all I could squeeze in. The follow up (which WILL happen) will possibly end up being a chapter added to this, so it won't count towards my 2-fics a month post. So if you want to follow this one specifically, subscribe to this story on its own. Note, this is marked as not finished, but it will be (I just need to get my life back and stay awake for more than 2 hours pr night ;P).
> 
> Edited December 3rd: Done, done done! Hey, better late than never XD

Erik most certainly wasn't going to look up. He knew what he'd see, knew _his_ self satisfied smile. Everyone thought Charles Xavier was a lovely, nice, man, but Erik knew the truth. The man was the antichrist, a bastard, a good oldfashioned asshole.

"Lehnsherr! Xavier, my office, gentlemen."

Erik didn't move at first. What the hell was Mactaggert up to?

Mactaggert motioned for them to close the door behind them and then leaned back in her seat, eyeballing them both. "Your respective partners are currently down and out-"

"No," Erik said, glaring at her sourly.

Mactaggert gave him a less than impressed look.

"No, no, no," he continued. "So much nope, boss. Not gonna happen."

"Do let her finish, Lehnsherr," Xavier said drily, taking one of the two seats on the their side of her desk.

"Fuck you, Xavier," Erik growled at him, "I am not working with you."

"What makes you think that you're getting a choice?" Mactaggert asked.

Erik opened his mouth to answer, but then shut it again. He'd save his ammunition until she gave them the case. _Then_ he'd tell her no.

"I have a rather delicate case that a lot of people would like to see blow up in our faces, and just as many would prefer we either leave alone or at least handle with discretion."

"And you're including him?" Erik said, pretty much simultaneously with Xavier

Mactaggert smirked. "I need two people who are good undercover and while you're both a couple of competitive assholes, you are also very good at what you do."

Erik couldn't help straightening his back a little at this, ignoring the barely whispered 'so easy' from Xavier.

Erik didn't answer, just felt out the earring that Xavier was wearing and heating it just enough for Xavier to curse and touch it.

"That's quite enough, gentlemen," Mactaggert scolded them. She waited for them to start acting like adults for once. "I need two gentlemen who can fake a relationship in a high profile gay country club."

"There's such a thing?" Erik asked at the same time as Xavier said: "Hellfire."

Mactaggert nodded. "Yes."

Erik made a face. So rich, gay men - he'd occasionally run into that type at the clubs he sometimes visited, and he'd never been particularly impressed by them. Not that Erik was normally impressed by other people; there was a reason why he rarely pulled - not for the lack of interest from others, but he had standards. Intelligence was pretty high on that list and as pretty as some of those guys had been, he had yet to make conversation with them that hadn't felt like mind numbing stupidity and in most cases it meant Erik wandering off after less than two minutes of talking.

"I know you've both got other cases, but this involves blackmail and a lot of goodwill would come of it if we nip this in the bud before it blows up all over the media.

"I've turned down invitations from them a couple of times," Xavier admitted.

"I thought you might," Mactaggert said with a wry smile. "And I think you should apply for a membership."

"What would the reason for my change of heart be?" Xavier asked, curiously.

"You're running for office," Erik said before he could stop himself.

Mactaggert raised an eyebrow at him. "That's not a bad idea, actually."

Xavier pursed his lips and Erik most definitely didn't stare at them. "I take it the delicacy in the case lies in the victims so far being people in high places." He held up a hand. "I'm not dismissing it. It's actually the kind of thing I could do - or that my stepfather would consider a thing I would do, simply to annoy the crap out of him."

"With your family name it would make sense," Mactaggert agreed. ""And Lehnsherr here would be the perfect arm candy." She paused and shot him a stern look. "As long as he doesn't open his mouth and spout his usual mutant supremacy shit."

Erik had opened his mouth to disagree with her, but promptly shut it, glaring at Xavier for the giggle escaping him.

"Xavier is a sure name for this mission," Mactaggert warned them. "I can probably find someone else to partner him with for this. You're not irreplaceable, Lehnsherr."

"He's not taking this thing down without me getting some credit as well," Erik growled.

They both beamed at him and Erik wanted to rage at them. He fucking hated the both of them.

Mactaggert got to her feet and stopped them before they left the office. "Gentlemen, as much as I a aware of your scoreboard on cases solved, as it takes up enough wallspace, I want you to solve this for the sake of the case - and for god's sake, try to be discrete!"

When they both looked at her like they had no idea what she was on about, she shook her head. "Just don't blow anything up, don't kill anyone, just keep the property damage to a minimum, preferably non existent."

They both nodded and left her office. Erik tried not to shove Xavier out of the doorway while they were in their boss' sight.

"Maybe for once we can work on a case together and get it done so we can both go our separate ways," Xavier said quietly as the door to Mactaggert's office fell shut behind them.

"Anything to avoid having to work with you for a longer period of time," Erik said with a low growl. "I think the worst part will be acting as a couple with you."

"We don't have to be a perfect, lovey dovey couple," Xavier said with a wink as he turned to look at Erik. "When you think about it, it will just add the extra tension to our relationship, and give the Hellfire club something to work with if they want to incriminate me. If we're cordial enough in public but drop enough hints that you're only with me for the money, and the possible fame, if I run for office."

Erik pursed his lips. "Deal," he agreed. And it pained him to admit but - "And we need to sit down and figure out a full cover story."

"Pick us up some lunch, Lehnsherr," Xavier said with a smirk - give me twenty minutes to find us a meeting room. Not to mention some contact info at Hellfire" He turned to wave at Erik, who was tempted to warp that damned earring just because Xavier annoyed him.

"Oh, and Lehnsherr?"

Erik turned enough to look at Xavier.

"I'll make sure the room's soundproof, just in case."

And the asshole had the audacity to _wink_ at him. Annoying, little shit, Erik fumed to himself as he went to get something to eat for them. If he could, he'd find something spicy and disgusting for him - just because he could.


	2. I hate you(r ridiculously blue eyes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the cusp of entering the playing field that is the Hellfire country club resort, Erik finds himself in slightly deeper waters than he'd expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may still be ready to keel over in the middle of busy work, but if I promise myself 1K-ish writing sessions, I may get through this with my sanity intact (or at least partly in one piece).

The resort was in many ways what Erik had expected; kitch and full of idiots with too much money.

He made a face looking at the bed. King sized? More like battlefield sized, as it took up nearly a third of a not small hotel room. "Don't tell me the department sprung for something with a bed big enough for us to sleep with yards between us," he muttered.

"Hmm?" Xavier put his bag down on one side of the bed and turned to him. "No, Hellfire upgraded us for free when my name came up."

Erik half expected him to sound posher, more entitled than he did. But if anything, Xavier's expression was one of resignation and annoyance.

"Most people would love to have what you have," Erik said, feeling more ill at ease than he'd expected. He'd thought he'd get enough chances to rub Xavier's face in it, enough chances to make this the only time they'd ever partner.

"Oh, they are more than welcome to it," Xavier replied, putting his clothes away in the huge walk-in closet. Erik waited for him to finish before doing the same.

_"And don't mention the department, Lehnsherr, unless you're a hundred percent sure we're not bugged,"_ Xavier admonished inside Erik's head.

Erik made a face. Reaching out, he felt for the telltale technology of listening devices or cameras. He drew a deep breath and shook his head before putting what he'd been taught from working with telepaths before, to good use. _"Unless it's a hundred percent ceramics or plastic, there are none. Not even the usual wires and they can't make those out of plastic. Yet."_

There was a short burst of pleasant surprise from Xavier and Erik most certainly did not preen at this. At all.

_"You are rather good at this, and I promise you, I won't go digging anywhere I'm not welcome, but this is the safest way of communicating the more ...sensitive issues."_ Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"If we must," Erik muttered. _"Unless of course there are other telepaths listening in."_

Xavier frowned, then shook his head. _"No one that strong in the vicinity. A few empaths. I would think they'd be expecting me to shield us both - if for nothing else than keeping the secrets around any information regarding me running for office."_

_"Are you shielding us?"_ Erik found himself asking curiously. Xavier rarely used his abilities in the line of work, he knew. Mostly because it could put into question any information he might get from a suspect. Erik was torn between hating and being impressed that Xavier conducted all interrogations wearing a suppression collar. Even he had to respect Xavier for wanting to get the perps, the price being him wearing a collar. Didn't mean he had to like it, though. It was just another way of them bending to the will of baselines.

_"Of course I'm shielding us, do you think I trust anyone around here considering our case?"_ Xavier asked drily. Then he huffed and shrugged. _"I don't like the suppression collar anymore than you do, but if I want to do my job and make any accusations stick, I have to play by the rules."_

_"You said you weren't digging,"_ Erik pushed at him, harsher than he'd intended. He considered pulling up any and every techniqued he'd ever learned when it came to shielding himself from telepaths. Even if he suspected none of them would work against Xavier.

Xavier winced. _"You think very loudly, asshole."_

Oddly enough, the rudeness of Xavier's reply made Erik smile. "Just keep it that way."

Xavier rolled his eyes, but he'd lost the pinched look that Erik hadn't quite picked up on at first.

Erik wondered how far Xavier could shield him, then realized that he wouldn't be wandering too far from Xavier's side anyway. One, the man might solve the case without Erik, and two, the whole idea of their undercover assignment was to pose as a couple. Maybe they should have practiced a little beforehand, because Erik wasn't entirely sure if he could act all lovey dovey. Taking a deep breath, he walked over to Xavier and crowded close. To his surprise and a little delight - that Erik would never admit to - Xavier didn't even blink, let alone step back.

Xavier tilted his head back a little, the height difference more pronounced with them this close. His eyes were far too blue for Erik's liking, as if he was wearing contacts - maybe he was. Erik squinted and looked closer, a move that had Xavier fighting off a smirk.

Erik made a face and leaned closer. He could feel the heat from Xavier's chest, less than an inch from his own. Well, if he couldn't do this, there was no way they could act a couple. Even Xavier's warm breath against his lips was distracting.

Xavier rolled his eyes and before Erik could stop him, he'd grabbed Erik's head, tilted it down and pressed his lips against Erik's.

Maybe Xavier had intended the kiss to just be that, a quick press of lips, but of course Erik's hindbrain decided that this was a competition - or that would be forever Erik's excuse - because a split second later, Erik pushed Xavier's mouth open with his tongue and went to town, his fingers digging into Xavier's sides in a way that couldn't be anything but painful.

A moment later, they all but stumbled apart. "Right, maybe no PDAs that passionately when we head out to mingle," Xavier muttered, sounding more than a little breathless.

Erik might have thought to feel victorious if he hadn't been busy trying to get his brain back into working order. Current status: lack of oxygen and low on blood flow.

"Let's get this job over with, huh?" Erik muttered, heading towards the door, then stopping just short of it. As much as he didn't want to get too near Xavier again - and not because something might happen! - he knew they had to act the couple to a certain extent or it wouldn't work.

"Yes," Xavier agreed, joining him at the door, taking a deep breath before slipping his arm through Erik's, his entire demeanor changing in the blink of an eye. "Let's mingle with the commoners, darling."

Erik rolled his eyes. This assignment couldn't be over fast enough.


	3. I Hate You(r perky ass and how it feels in my hands)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the competitive natures of both Charles and Erik take a turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly there - hopefully I'll be able to do the last part this week (barring any work related insanity). Thank you for your patience - and a preemptive thank you to life for maybe not screwing me over too soon with colds and crazy busy schedules. I'd like to finish this soon XD - Shouldn't be more than one part left on this.

If anyone asked Erik, he'd never in a million years admit that he might actually be enjoying himself.

Well, he tried to convince himself that it could have been better if he could've done this without Xavier. The guy was as competitive as Erik was and no matter how one looked at it, it could only be his fault that it had escalated from having drinks at the bar, trying to keep tabs on potential targets and acting as such themselves, to - well, _this_.

Somewhere on the floor of their room were Erik's clothes and most of Xavier's - save the shirt Erik hadn't managed to rip off him - yet. Erik himself was busy trying to pin the asshole to the bed, but every time he managed, he'd be bucked off and slammed into the mattress. Currently he was on his back, breathing hard with Xavier straddling his hips.

Erik tried to find dislike for the current position, but he was pretty busy using what little room he had for rubbing his dick up against the cleft of Xavier's ass. Not to mention fighting making obscene noises as Xavier bit into the tendon where neck and shoulder met.

Whenever Xavier would forget himself and loosen his hold on Erik's wrists, Erik would take the opportunity to touch, digging his fingers into Xavier's hips, then slipping his hands further down, finally cupping that delectable ass that had been waved at him for years now. And it felt even better in his hands than he'd ever allowed himself to consider. Even with his hand down his pants, alone at night, he'd never allowed himself to picture anything like this.

And there was the other thing that Erik had never allowed himself to notice about the other man. Piercings. Not just the earlobes - those were obvious, but the nipples as well and Erik felt he deserved a medal for managing to ignore that for so many years. He'd always kept his focus on the earrings, mostly because they were visible and anything else would be wrong, creepy and lead him down a road he hadn't been comfortable thinking about. Right now he was so far off road, he didn't really give a shit. All he could focus on was the skin warmed metal and the way Xavier cursed and moaned when he flicked it using his gift only. Because his hands were still busy pressing finger shaped bruises into Xavier's stupidly gorgeous ass.

Xavier mouthed along Erik's jaw, breath hot and humid against Erik's skin. Erik wasn't going to turn his head and- Oh, to hell with it. Turning just enough, Erik caught the gasp escaping Xavier, forcing his mouth open with his own, intent on coming out on top. So how the hell it turned from wet and bruising to deep and head spinning was beyond Erik. All he could do was hang on to Xavier and push his dry finger against Xavier's opening, projecting the urgent need for lube at him. Which in turn made Xavier rut against him, so not in control that it would have delighted Erik to have been the cause of this, if he hadn't been busy at the time.

It was getting all hot and heavy and Erik would forever blame that on the fact that neither he nor Xavier noticed the goon squad until they kicked down the door. And fuck, there was no chance of Mactaggert ever letting them live that one down, was there?

Erik realized as their attackers dragged Xavier off him, that they were carrying no metal. Their guns and bullets; plastic and ceramics. Fucking hell!

Fighting off his attackers as well as he could, still on the bed, still hard as fucking nails and pissed off to boot, because hello, he hadn't had sex in far too long and he'd been about to pound that perky ass into the bed!

Erik knocked his last attacker out with one of the bedside lamps which _was_ metal and looked up to assist his partner. Halfway off the bed, he froze, because why had he never had a look when Xavier was training? It was a thing of beauty, barely any light in the room and all Erik could see was pale skin reflecting the little light from the sole surviving bedside lamp. Not to mention, he could feel how the metal of Xavier's piercings flowed with each movement. Xavier had lost his shirt somewhere along the way and was completely stark naked, not that it seemed to trouble him as he dealt the two last of their attackers the final blows, both sinking to the floor, out for the count.

"Six attackers," Xavier said, barely out of breath. "What the hell tipped them off?" He looked up and met Erik's gaze. His questioning look morphed into disbelief. "Seriously?"

Erik shrugged. "Natural reaction." He wasn't about to let Xavier know that he'd gotten even harder from watching him fight.

"Natural reaction, my arse," Xavier huffed, leaning down to rip something off the head of one of their attackers. A high-end telepathy blocker.

"Nothing's involving your ass, Xavier," Erik muttered, leaning over the end of the bed, trying to will his erection to go away.

Xavier stopped for a moment, hand on the unconscious man's head, no doubt about where he was currently looking. "No, unfortunately not." He looked up and met Erik's eyes. "Put that thing away, Lehnsherr, you could poke someone's eye out with it."

Erik rolled his eyes, but rooted around for his boxers, as well as Xavier's. He found his own on the floor and Xavier's behind the bedside lamp. Dressed enough to cover his still half hard state, Erik dropped Xavier's boxers on the end of the bed and watched quietly as the other man rooted around in their attacker's unconscious mind.

Erik's head snapped up with Xavier's next words. And a lot of shit suddenly made sense.

"What the fuck is Sebastian Shaw doing here?" Xavier exclaimed.


	4. I hate you(r stupid face and want to see it in the morning)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Erik still finds himself cock blocked and quite frankly wants to take Shaw down. For the greater good, of course, and not because he wants to get back to (trying) to screw his temporary partner through the nearest mattress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to finishing this - and I do apologize for it taking so long!

Erik huffed out a breath, then turned to Charles who was pulling his jeans on. "Don't call it it in just yet," he said.

"I have to, Erik," Charles said, shaking his head. "They have to know that Shaw is involved - because we're good, but we can't take him down on our own."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Erik centered himself, then pulled his t-shirt back on. They couldn't hunt down Shaw halfway naked. He didn't look at Charles and lament this fact. Much. "If you do, I'll get dragged off this case so fast your head will spin," he finally said, though maybe Charles would like that, so he could get the arrest without Erik. Although this excuse was beginning to sound old.

"Why?" Charles asked, fully dressed now and watching Erik with a strange calm.

"Shaw knows me," Erik replied. "This attack shows it. They know you're a telepath - that's public knowledge, and you're a public figure in some circles - the ones that Shaw likes to keep an eye on - but they came at us with plastic and ceramic weapons, Charles - that means Shaw knows I'm here."

Charles was quiet for a moment, then he closed his eyes. "We're calling it in, Erik." He cocked his head to the side. "There won't be time for the boss to drag you off the case anyway, second wave's on the way."

Erik nodded. He'd thought as much. Shaw was vain, a bully, but he wasn't stupid. Picking up his cellphone, he hit speed dial to their boss' office. Backup would come - whether in time or not, Erik wasn't too worried. He was actually looking forward to seeing Charles fighting again.

"You definitely need to get laid," Charles muttered, checking his gun for ammunition.

"Promises, promises," Erik replied with a menacing grin.

This time he was feeling the small bits of metal on the oncoming attackers. Sloppy, very sloppy. Maybe Shaw wasn't so smart after all.

"Don't underestimate him," Charles warned, holstering his gun as he got got ready to deal with the oncoming horde. "The first wave was told to deal with you and hold me off long enough to do so."

"So Shaw underestimated you," Erik said, realizing as he holstered his own gun that Shaw had possibly thought first wave could have gotten past Charles fairly easily.

"Most people do," Charles said with a chuckle, licking his lips and not breaking eye contact with Erik.

"Rub it in, you asshole," Erik said good naturedly. "I won't make that mistake again."

"Uh-huh," Charles replied. "And while I can't sense second wave of attackers because they're using the same tech as these," he kicked one of the unconscious attackers, "they just passed a couple of the room service staff who are _not_ shielded from me."

"Good thing second wave got sloppy," Erik agreed, taking the opposite side of the closed entrance.

Charles grinned in reply as the door burst open and everything became absolute mayhem.

\--- 

18 hours later:

"We're never partnering again," Erik told Charles, standing next to him on the street outside the precinct. The sun was only just colouring the morning sky and Erik felt gritty and tired, yesterday's clothes disgusting with sweat - and not to mention blood. None of which was his - or Charles'. At least they could go home, shower, _sleep_. They had nearly two weeks for that considering that Mactaggert had told them they were both suspended for that long; for not waiting for backup and for the sheer amount of collateral damage they had left in their wake.

But hey, Shaw was behind bars and the amount of information and proof of his illegal activities would keep the clerks busy for years.

"Never," Charles agreed. He leaned his head back and drew in a deep breath.

Erik was most certainly not staring at his bared throat. At all. Not one bit.

Charles let out his breath, slowly, straightening up again and rolling his shoulders, staring dead ahead. "So, my place or yours?"

Erik licked his lips. "Yours - it's closer."


End file.
